Fire Escape
by The-Breaths-of-Chloe
Summary: I heard the cold wind say I'm a fool to stay, but I did, yes I did. (One shot based on Fire Escape by Matthew Mayfield) Angst warning.


**AN: Based on "Fire Escape" by Matthew Mayfield. Current times are in bold and flashbacks are regular font. (If you haven't ever heard the song, I would suggest listening to it before or while you read. It really helps to set the tone.) Serious angst ahead.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Pitch Perfect 1 or 2 or "Fire Escape"**

* * *

 **"Shut up" Chloe screamed into the cold night wind at the voice that wouldn't leave her alone. She knew, logically, the voice was just in her head, but on nights like this, sitting out on the steps of her fire escape, one too many shots of whiskey coursing its way through her blood stream, she didn't care.**

 **She remembered the night two and half years ago, like it was yesterday.**

She had been standing at the alter, next to Beca. Beca's eyes had gleamed a brighter blue than normal as she smiled and said "I do."

Chloe closed her eyes at the sound of the two words falling so easily and happily from Beca's lips.

She was shaken from her reverie when she heard the preacher begin to speak again.

"And do you Jesse Swanson take this woman..."

Chloe tried to block out what she was hearing, it was so easy to pretend she was the one standing on the other side of Beca, when Beca was saying the vows, but now that Jesse was the one speaking, the sharp pain that had taken up residence in her chest, ever since Beca had asked her to be maid of honor at her wedding, was back.

 **"Every word I wanted to sing got replaced with a wedding ring" Chloe sang softly to herself at the memory. Her soft soprano carrying on the wind, through the dark, cold, New York night.**

After the wedding there had, of course, been a reception which, with all of the Bella's in attendance, had quickly devolved into a giant drunken party. Chloe did her best to look happy. She danced, she sang, she smiled, but the truth was, she was dying inside.

After dancing with a very drunk Beca, who kept smiling and telling her how happy she was, Chloe couldn't take it anymore and finally excused herself, saying she needed to get some fresh air.

Once Chloe was outside she found a bench to sit on and dropped her head into her hands, her elbows braced against her knees and she started to weep. She knew that eventually she would be ok, that eventually she would be able to move past her feelings for Beca, but she also knew that a part of her life, a part of herself, had died the moment the preacher had pronounced Jesse and Beca, man and wife.

Chloe was so lost in her thoughts and tears she didn't hear the door to the reception hall open or the footsteps coming towards her. She jumped as an arm wrapped around her shoulders. Chloe turned to the warm body beside her and saw Aubrey looking back at her, her eyes sad.

"Hey." Aubrey said softly

Chloe tried to speak but her voice was choked by her tears as she fell into Aubrey, wrapping her arms tightly around her neck and sobbing violently against the blonde's chest.

Aubrey pulled Chloe closer and held her, smoothing her red hair, letting her cry.

"God... I don't... how could… stupid..." Chloe finally choked out between strangled sobs.

Aubrey pushed Chloe back so she could see her face.

"You listen to me right now, Chloe Elise Beale. You are not, nor have you ever been stupid. I know you're in love with the hobbit and I know that this is hard for you, but you're going to be ok. Do you hear me?" Aubrey finished shaking Chloe a bit trying to get a reaction.

Chloe nodded sadly, before falling back against Aubrey sobbing into her chest again.

"Shhhh, Chlo-stick, It's going to be alright. Just give it time." Aubrey said comfortingly, using the pet name she had given Chloe freshman year.

Chloe didn't want to give it time, she wanted Beca, but that had never been less of a possibility that it was currently. I've lost her. Chloe thought with finality and while the thought did nothing to ease the heart that she could feel breaking in her chest, it did make her realize that sitting outside sobbing was not going to make anything better or easier, for anyone.

Chloe put her hand firmly on Aubrey's thigh and pushed herself upright, before giving the blonde's thigh a little squeeze of thanks. She took a deep breath, wiped her eyes, adjusted her hair and said resolutely. "Ok, let's go back in."

Aubrey looked at Chloe with cautious eyes. "Are you sure?"

Chloe pasted on her biggest and brightest smile "Yep, let's go" she said as she held her hand out to Aubrey.

Aubrey took Chloe's offered hand but said as she stood up "Chlo-stick, that smile doesn't fool me for even a second, but I'm still proud of you."

Chloe let the bright smile fall from her face, being replaced with the ghost of a smile that was much more indicative of how she was actually feeling.

"Thanks" Chloe said with a small nod.

Aubrey pulled Chloe in for a quick one arm hug and kissed her temple. "Just give it time Chlo-stick."

Chloe nodded as they walked back into the reception hall, arms around each other.

Just over a year later Chloe moved to New York.

" **No, you're not my home." Chloe sang softly into the night.**

"I don't know why you have to go." Beca had said sitting across her kitchen table from Chloe.

"I told you Becs, I got a job there. It'll really be a great opportunity for me." Chloe said trying her best to sound happy.

The truth was she had been applying for jobs all over the country for months, anything to get her out of L.A. The apartment Chloe and Beca had shared when they first moved to L.A. had started to feel more like a prison than a home, without Beca there.

Jesse and Beca had been married for just over a year and every day it hurt Chloe more to see them. She thought that by this point she should be better or at least on her way to better, but every time she saw Beca look at Jesse with that look that said "you're my world" her heart broke a little more. She just couldn't take it anymore and she couldn't exactly tell her best friend that she was in love with her and that seeing her with her husband was killing her, so she needed some space. Leaving was the only option.

"I know, but New York? That's so far away." Beca said with a whine, breaking Chloe from her thoughts. "It's on the actual other side of the country, Chlo."

Chloe chuckled "I do realize that Beca, I didn't fail maps that badly."

Beca laughed, but still crossed her arms over her chest and tried to look pouty.

"Oh don't give me that look" Chloe said tossing the dish towel that was sitting in front of her, at Beca "Look I know it's far away, but it's not like we won't have any contact at all, we can text and call and even facetime if you want and besides, you have Jesse now."

Beca looked at Chloe, a strange look in her eye.

"To keep you company I mean. You know it's not like you'll be all by yourself." Chloe said trying to save face.

"It's not about being all alone Chlo, it's about not having you here with me, by my side. You're my partner in crime, my best friend. Who am I going to get into trouble with? Who's going to calm me down when I freak out about something that's totally not important? Who's…?" Beca stopped and quickly looked away, but not before Chloe saw a tear roll down here cheek.

Chloe was flabbergasted, Beca was rarely this open with anybody about anything, but she was never, ever this open about feelings that actually related to the person she was talking to.

Chloe reached across the table and put her hand on top of Beca's. "Becs, please look at me."

Beca looked up, her dark blue eyes shining with tears. "I don't want you to go Chloe."

Chloe stood up and quickly walked around the table to Beca, pulling her up and into a tight hug.

"I know, but I have to." Chloe said into Beca's hair.

"Why?" Beca asked, sounding small.

"I just do Becs."

Chloe pulled back and looked deeply into Beca's eyes, trying to wordlessly tell her everything that she couldn't actually bring herself to say.

"I'm gonna miss you so much." Beca said pulling Chloe back against her and leaning into her chest.

Chloe wasn't sure how much, if any, of her message Beca got, but as she felt the wetness on her shirt start to spread from the tears Beca was leaving behind, she had to believe that at least some of it had been understood.

"I'm gonna miss you too."

 **Chloe poured another shot of whiskey and downed it quickly, coughing a little at the burning sensation. Her voice was rough as she started to sing "I almost hear you catch your breath, my ghost is whispering in your head."**

Chloe had been in New York for six months the first time Beca had come to visit her. Chloe offered to pick her up from the airport but Beca had insisted that she'd be fine.

Chloe sat nervously in her living room waiting for a knock at her door. She had made good progress in getting over Beca. She still loved her, she always would, but it was easier. It still hurt, but it was less of sharp stabbing pain and more of a dull ache now.

Chloe jumped when she heard the knock. She got up and quickly went to the door, throwing it open wide, without looking through the peep hole. She was met with a tiny brunette launching herself at her, pulling Chloe in tight against her chest.

Chloe laughed and hugged Beca back.

"God, I have missed you so freakin' much." Beca said into Chloe's shoulder.

"I've missed you too Becs." Chloe said squeezing Beca a little tighter.

Beca pulled away and turned around walking back out into the hall.

"Here, help me with my crap." Beca said as she held one of her suitcases out to Chloe, bringing two more in herself before shutting the door with her foot.

"Three bags? Exactly how long are you planning on staying?" Chloe joked.

"Oh shut it Beale."

"If I didn't know better I'd think I packed for you."

That earned Chloe a playful shove as Beca followed her to the bedroom to put the bags down.

"Man this place is awesome." Beca said as Chloe showed her around "It's so New York. It's edgy and gritty…"

"It's a dump" Chloe said cutting Beca off and laughing.

Beca laughed too "No, really, I like it."

Chloe smiled "Well thank you."

Beca walked over the window. "Dude!" she almost yelled.

"What?" Chloe almost yelled back jumping at the sudden outburst.

"You have a fire escape." Beca said as she climbed out the window and sat down on the step of the fire escape.

Chloe laughed again and made her way over to the window. "Almost every apartment in New York has a fire escape, it's kind of a thing here."

"I've always wanted one." Beca said running her fingers along the metal grating of the step she was sitting on. "Come out here and sit with me." she said waving Chloe on with a come here motion.

Chloe smiled and shook her head at Beca as she climbed out the window and sat down next to her.

"Why have you always wanted a fire escape?" Chloe asked once she was situated.

Beca looked out over the alley way, a thoughtful expression on her face. "I dunno, it just always seems so… authentic, maybe? No that's not the right word. Um…"

"Romantic." Chloe said.

"Yeah, that's it. It's always seemed very romantic. Sitting out on the fire escape, talking, laughing, drinking, whatever." Beca finished with a smile.

"Yeah I can see that." Chloe said simply, a dreamy smile on her face.

They sat for a long moment, just listening to the noises of the city, enjoying each other's silent companionship until Beca leaned over and bumped Chloe's shoulder with her own.

"So I have news."

"Oh, what news?" Chloe asked, not being entirely sure she wanted to hear the answer.

"Jesse and I are moving to Philadelphia."

"What?" Chloe asked, shocked.

Beca grinned "Yep, he got a job with a production company there, we're moving in three weeks and it's only two hours away from here."

"Wow." Chloe said. She honestly wasn't sure how she felt about the news. On one hand, she had missed Beca terribly in the last six months and it would be amazing to only be two hours away from her best friend, but on the other hand having Beca so close also meant having to see her with Jesse again, having to watch her be happy with him, look at him like Chloe always wished she would look at her.

"Is that ok?" Beca asked, her voice laden with uncertainty.

"What?" Chloe asked being too lost in her thoughts to hear what Beca had said.

"I asked if that was ok." Beca said again.

This time Chloe heard the uncertainty in Beca's voice and saw it mirrored in the expression on her face.

"Yeah of course it's ok Becs, it's more than ok. It's amazing." Chloe said forcing her voice to sound excited and plastering on her biggest smile, she'd have plenty of time to figure out how she felt about the whole situation over the next three weeks.

Beca wasn't totally convinced but accepted the hug that Chloe wrapped her up in, gladly.

Chloe pulled back and quickly said "Why don't we celebrate by getting some dinner and I've got a bottle of wine in the fridge that I've been saving for a special occasion."

The mention of food distracted Beca from any doubts she had about Chloe being happy to have her close and she said "Oooo food, yes, I'm starving. But can we get it to go and eat here on the fire escape?"

Chloe laughed "Sure, we can do that."

Two hours later, back out on the fire escape, sitting on the landing now instead of the steps. Beca leaning against the railing and Chloe against the brick of the building that was still radiating the heat of the day. Their dinners and the bottle of wine were both gone and they were working on the second bottle they had picked up on the way home.

Beca had filled Chloe in on every little detail of her life for the past six months, even though Chloe already knew a good portion of it from all the texts and phone calls they had shared in that time. It was still nice to just sit and listen to Beca talk, to be able to get lost in her voice and her eyes, as Chloe had done so many times during their college days.

Beca stopped talking and stayed silent for a moment before asking tentatively.

"Chlo?"

"Yeah Becs?"

"What does it feel like to be in love?"

"What?" Chloe asked, suddenly not being sure where this conversation was going.

"What does it feel like to be in love? From your perspective, I mean."

"Oh." Chloe said "Well, you know how sometimes you're laying in bed and it's been a really long day and nothing is going right and you think to yourself, I just wanna go home, even though you're already there, and then you stop and actually think, I am home, but the feeling doesn't go away, and even you don't really know what you mean?"

"Yeah." Beca said, confused.

"Well, to me at least, being in love is never having that feeling, it's never having to say, I just wanna go home, because as long as you have that person there, you are home."

Beca leaned her head back against the railing and was silent for a few moments.

"Sometimes I think Jesse doesn't get me." she finally said.

Everything in Chloe wanted to scream Of course he doesn't, but instead she simply said, trying to keep her voice as neutral as possible "What do you mean?"

"I dunno, I'm probably just being dumb" Beca sighed "But, like, sometimes when I do something or say something, like something weird. He just looks at me with this confused expression on his face, like he doesn't even know."

"Doesn't know what?"

"I dunno. Me, I guess."

"Becs." Chloe said, not really knowing where to go from there. She wanted to reach out and pull Beca into her lap, hold her, tell her that she understood, understood everything, that she got her in a way that Jesse never could, but she couldn't do that. That would be crossing so very many lines that she couldn't allow herself to cross.

"It's no big deal really, just kind of a feeling I get sometimes. I mean I love him, I really do. I'm sure I'm just being weird."

"I don't think you're being weird." Chloe finally said softly.

"You don't?"

"No" Chloe said "I think it's just a thing that happens sometimes, it doesn't mean you guys don't love each other or that you're not good together, it just means you are two really different people trying to live one life."

"You think?" Beca asked, sounding lighter than she had a moment ago.

If Chloe had given the advice to anyone else, she would have felt great about it. It was solid advice, but having to give it to the girl she was in love with, made her want to slam her head into the brick wall she was leaning against, but despite everything else, all the other feelings, Beca was still her best friend and there was no way that Chloe was going to let her feelings get in the way of helping her, as much as she may have wanted to.

"Yeah, I think." Chloe said softly.

" **No matter how my heart tries I'm not too blind to realize, that when I'm free from the grip of this life you won't be there by my side." Chloe sang her tears finally starting to fall making her voice break.**

Three months later and everything had been going surprisingly well. Chloe had adjusted well to having Beca so close, they made an effort at least once a month to see each other, because even though they were only two hours apart, life had only gotten busier as time had gone on. Beca had been up to Chloe's for the weekend three times, twice for purely social reasons and once because she was DJing at a club in the city and "Why the hell not" as she had said. Chloe had stayed at Beca and Jesse's place once. Luckily Jesse had had to leave on a business trip shortly after Chloe had gotten there. So even though there were reminders all over the place, it hadn't been too bad.

Chloe had just gotten home from work one evening when there was a knock on her door. She walked to the door and looked through the peep hole, surprised to see Beca standing there. Chloe opened the door and started to ask what Beca was doing there when she noticed the tears flowing freely down her cheeks. Chloe pulled Beca into the apartment and then into her arms, holding her tight and stroking her hair as Beca broke down sobbing against her chest, fisting her hands in Chloe's shirt.

Chloe walked them over to the couch, pulling Beca down next to her and tighter against her own body. When Beca's sobs had finally quieted some, Chloe pulled back slightly.

"Beca what's going on? Are you ok?"

"Jesse and I had a fight." Beca said still sniffling.

"Is everything ok?" Chloe asked, not really being sure in the moment what she hoped the answer would be and honestly being a little ashamed of herself for even thinking that.

"I don't know." Beca said starting to cry again.

"Beca, Jesse loves you and you love him, I'm sure whatever happened, you guys will be fine." Chloe said trying not to grit her teeth to stop the words coming out of her mouth.

"I don't know if we will be this time, Chlo."

Chloe pulled Beca back against her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around her, letting her cheek rest on the top of her head.

An hour and a half later they were sitting on the fire escape half way through a bottle of wine.

"So he actually said that to you?" Chloe said in disbelief.

"Yeah he did." Beca said sadly "It's like I told you a a couple months ago, he doesn't get me, and I'm starting to think he never has."

The silence stretched between them for a long time, the implication of what Beca was saying hanging heavily in the air. Chloe knew she should keep quiet but she couldn't keep herself from asking.

"What are you saying Becs?"

"I don't even know anymore Chlo."

"Are you planning on leaving him?" Chloe asked softly, she regretted the words as soon as she had said them, she didn't need to be putting ideas in Beca's head that may not have already been there, but at the same time if Beca wasn't happy she should help her figure out what to do. Right?

"I don't know." Beca said sadly.

They were both silent for a long few moments, each lost, deep, in their own thoughts.

"Do you remember that time" Beca said finally breaking the silence "in the tent, at that retreat you made all the Bellas go on senior year, when you told me you wished you had done more experimenting in college."

"Yeah." Chloe said hesitantly.

"What did you mean?" Beca asked with a far away look in her eyes, her tone open, honest and seemingly genuinely curious.

"Oh, honestly I dunno Becs. That was so long ago." Chloe lied, she knew exactly what she had meant right now as strongly as she knew it then, but she couldn't exactly tell Beca. Especially not tonight, not here, sitting on her fire escape, the chilly city wind blowing around them, and Beca looking at her in that way that had always made her heart pound and her stomach feel like it was on a roller coaster.

"Oh." Beca said, with a hint of unreadable emotion in her voice. After a moment she asked "Can I stay here tonight?"

"Of course" Chloe said "you know that you are always welcome here Becs."

Beca smiled as she stood up and held her hand out for Chloe to take.

It wasn't long before they were both settled into bed, each taking a side of Chloe's king size bed that took up all but two feet on each side of her small bedroom. Sharing a bed was usually no big deal for either of them. They had done it all the time in college and this was the way they slept anytime Beca would stay with Chloe, but tonight it was different, there was a strained energy stretching over the expanse of bed between them, that felt like it was trying to pull them together.

Chloe rolled onto her side facing Beca and closed her eyes tightly, trying to ignore the feeling. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't realize that Beca was slowly scooting back towards her, until they were touching. Chloe knew that she should pull away or at least stay still, but she couldn't help seeking comfort in the small, warm body pressed against her chest as she loosely draped her arm over Beca's waist and scooted in a bit closer, slowly falling asleep to the rhythmic sound of Beca's breathing.

 **"I heard the cold wind say, I'm a fool to stay. But I did, yes I did." Chloe was just able to choke out past her tears.**

Two months later and it was time for Aubrey's quarterly visit. The tall blonde had relaxed so much since their college days, but she was still, and would always remain a Posen, Chloe thought with a laugh as she heard the knock on her door. She looked at her watch, it was seven o'clock, to the second.

Chloe opened the door. "Ms. Posen, punctual as always." She said with a laugh.

Aubrey laughed and walked in "Good to see you too Chlo."

Chloe shut the door and turned around to hug Aubrey, holding on a moment longer than usual. When Chloe pulled back, she found her friend staring at her with a concerned look on her face.

"What?" Chloe asked.

"What's wrong?" Aubrey asked back.

"Nothing's wrong Bree. Why?"

"Chloe, what's wrong?" Aubrey asked again, her voice taking on a more stern yet still concerned tone.

"Seriously Bree, ease up. Nothing's wrong." Chloe said with a small nervous chuckle.

Aubrey sighed and walked over to sit down on the couch and patted the cushion next to her. Chloe sat down and looked at her.

"What has the hobbit done now?" Aubrey asked and Chloe laughed, she had always, secretly, thought it was hilarious when Aubrey called Beca that.

"Bree, nothing is wrong, I am totally fine and Beca has done nothing wrong." Chloe said before adding with a sigh "We just haven't been talking as much lately as we usually do."

"Whomp there it is." Aubrey said.

Chloe burst out laughing again "You have seriously been spending too much time with Fat Amy."

Aubrey laughed along "Oh you don't even know the half of it, but there's time for all that later. Why haven't you and Beca been talking?"

Chloe stopped laughing at Aubrey's question. "I'm not sure honestly. It's probably nothing. She just got a job with a music production company down in Philly and she's probably just busy."

"Uh-huh." Aubrey said "Now that that's out of the way, why don't you tell me what you really think the problem is."

Chloe smiled, no one, not even Beca, could see through her like Aubrey. "I don't know Bree, she came up here unexpectedly about two months ago when she and Jesse had a fight. Just kind of showed up on my doorstep crying, so we talked for a while and she spent the night..."

"Woah woah woah! You slept with her?" Aubrey said, having a hard time keeping the shock out of her voice and off her face.

"What? No! Bree, come on! I wouldn't do that, she's freakin married!" Chloe yelle in her shock.

Aubrey relaxed back against the couch cushions, "Well I didn't think you would, but your brain's always been a little fuzzy when it comes to Beca."

"Yeah fuzzy, but not completely out of order. Give me SOME credit."

Aubrey chuckled and held up her hands in surrender "You're right, I'm sorry. Go ahead."

"So anyway" Chloe said, as she threw Aubrey a pointed look "she stayed over and when we were laying in bed she scooted over next to me and I put my arm around her. We slept like that all night."

"And?" Aubrey prompted.

"That's it." Chloe said with a sigh.

"Seriously?" Aubrey asked

"Seriously Bree, there's no and. We woke up the next morning, she thanked me for letting her stay and left. Everything seemed fine."

"So you think Beca's mad at you or upset or whatever because you cuddled?" Aubrey said, confused, as Chloe nodded sadly. "Chloe, I really don't think cuddling would be a problem. I remember a few times I had to wake you guys up after a late party, when you had passed out together, and you would be fully on top of Beca, like I couldn't even see her at all until you would move."

"Yeah but that was in college, not to mention, before she was married." Chloe countered.

"True." Aubrey said "But I still don't know. Do you think Beca could be starting to realize that she has feelings for you?" Aubrey finally asked.

Chloe's eyes went wide at the question "Bree, there's nothing to realize, Beca doesn't have feelings for me. She's my friend, that's all she ever has been, all she's ever wanted to be, nothing has changed on that front."

Aubrey gave Chloe a sad smile before asking "So did you have anything planned for dinner? If not I saw a Chinese place that didn't look too shady on the way here."

The abrupt change of subject threw Chloe for a loop. Aubrey Posen was not one to let a subject go until she had had her say and was sure she had been heard and understood. For her to just let something go... Chloe didn't even begin to know what that meant, as far as she could remember it had never actually happened. She was more than puzzled, but she decided just to run with it and try to figure it out later.

"Um, I didn't really have anything in mind. Chinese does sound good though." Chloe said.

"Good" Aubrey said getting up off the couch "Come on let's go, my treat."

Three hours later both girls were back at Chloe's apartment, on the couch reminiscing about their college days.

"Do you remember that time sophomore year when you got so drunk you thought it would be a good idea to just go to class and sleep there instead of trying to make it back to your dorm?" Aubrey asked giggling.

"Oh my God, I had forgotten about that. You got to class early and found me sprawled out across the top of Professor Winter's desk." Chloe added laughing.

"Yep, and remember, I sat you up in a desk, even though you were still half drunk and mostly asleep, and then Professor Winter got there and started yelling because he thought someone had tried to vandalize his desk."

"THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!" They both yelled in unison dissolving into fits of laughter.

As their laughter died down, Aubrey looked at her watch and reached over to grab Chloe's hand.

"Tonight has been so much fun Chlo-stick, but I should probably run."

"What time is it?" Chloe asked

"Half past ten."

"Oh wow I didn't realize it had gotten so late."

"Yeah me neither. I've got a meeting at eight tomorrow morning and I heard there's gonna be a snow storm coming in tonight, I'd like to be settled before it hits."

"I still don't know why you couldn't just stay here."

"I told you Chlo, I have an early meeting and it's not fair to wake you up early on your day off just because I have stuff to do."

Chloe opened her mouth to speak but Aubrey stopped her with a raised index finger.

"And don't say I won't wake you. I know better."

Chloe closed her mouth and laughed, "Yeah it would wake me, but still."

"No but still. I gotta go." Aubrey said patting Chloe's hand, getting up off the couch and walking to the door. Chloe got up and walked to the door behind Aubrey, hugging her tightly when she turned around.

"Thank you for tonight Bree. I needed it."

Aubrey squeezed Chloe a little tighter before pulling away. "Anytime Chlo-stick, you need anything, you call me. You hear me?" Aubrey finished pointing a finger at Chloe as she opened the door to leave.

Chloe smiled "I will. Drive safe."

"I will." Aubrey said smiling back.

 **"I'm on the fire escape, where you said to wait and I did, I did." Chloe whispered into the night, her tears having finally stopped, when the numbness set in.**

Chloe woke from a sound sleep confused and disoriented, she looked at her watch it was just after one AM. In her sleepy haze she heard a noise she couldn't quite place, she searched for the source of the annoying sound for a moment before she realized it was her phone and not only was it her phone it was the ringtone she had set for Beca.

She quickly grabbed her phone swiping her finger across the screen to answer the call.

"Beca, what's wrong?" She almost shouted into the phone.

She sighed when she heard Beca laugh on the other end. "Nothing's wrong Chlo, I just needed to talk to you."

"Beca it's after one AM could whatever it is really not have waited until morning?"

"No it couldn't, in fact it couldn't even wait until I'm at your place in half an hour."

"What?" Chloe asked, sitting up in bed.

Beca laughed again. "Yeah I'm on my way to you, I was gonna just wait and talk to you when I got there but I couldn't."

"Beca you're starting to freak me out here. What's going on? Why are you on your way here in the middle of the night?"

"Remember that night when I first visited you in New York and we were sitting out on the fire escape?"

"Of course I do Beca, it wasn't really that long ago."

"Do you remember when I asked you what it felt like to be in love?"

"Yes." Chloe said simply. She wasn't sure where this conversation was headed and it was worrying her more by the second.

"Remember when you told me it felt like never having that I want to go home feeling ever again?"

"Beca! Yes I remember the whole conversation, the whole night, in fact. Please tell me what's going on, you're starting to seriously scare me." Chloe said starting to sound as frantic as she felt.

Beca was quiet on the other end of the phone for a moment. "Jesse and I got in a fight again tonight." She finally said.

Chloe sighed, this was something she could work with, it didn't make her happy but she could work with it.

"I'm sorry Becs."

"It's ok. Honestly we've been fighting almost non stop for the last two months."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Chloe asked "Is that why we've barely spoken?" She added quickly.

"I don't know why, Chlo. You know how I can get when it comes to stuff like this, and yeah I guess I thought I could handle it on my own."

Chloe did know how Beca could get, she could remember times from college that if she hadn't been there to pull the tiny brooding DJ out of her funk she didn't think she ever would have come out of it.

"Beca." Chloe said sadly.

"No. It's ok Chlo, really. That's not what I called to talk to you about anyway." Beca said regaining some of the happiness that had been in her voice at the beginning of the call.

"Ok, Becs. What did you call to talk about?" Chloe asked. She knew that sometimes the best way to get Beca to actually open up was to just let her ramble out whatever it was she needed to say.

"Well tonight just before the fight was over, Jesse screamed at me that he didn't know if he could do this anymore and walked out so I went in and was laying on the bed crying and I had that thought, like you had talked about, that I just wanted to go home, and I was home, in my own bed no less." Beca paused.

"OK?" Chloe said trying to prompt Beca to finish her story

"Well the first thing that popped into my head was that I wanted to be with you, that if I was with you I would feel like I was home, that you have always felt like home to me."

Chloe was speechless, she wasn't sure where exactly Beca was going with this line of thought, she thought she might have had an idea but every time she tried to grasp it and bring it into focus it flowed through her fingers like water.

"Chlo, you still there?" Beca asked from the other end of the phone.

Chloe tried to speak but her voice wouldn't cooperate, she cleared her throat and tried again, finally managing a shaky "Yeah, I'm still here."

"Good, because I need you to hear this."

"Ok" Chloe said, the word coming out just above a whisper.

"You were right about what it feels like to be in love, Chloe and I'm in love with you. I think I always have been, I just never realized it."

Chloe inhaled sharply, these were the words she had been wanting for so long but had never actually expected to hear. She wanted to tell Beca that she was in love with her too, that she had never been more in love with anyone in her entire life, but it still wasn't quite right.

"What about Jesse?" She finally asked.

"I'm leaving him." Beca said simply.

Chloe let out a shaky breath.

Taking that as an answer Beca said "And it's not just about you, Chloe. So don't think that. Even if you told me you never wanted to see me again, I would still be leaving him. It's just not working. It was a coincidence that I happened to figure both things out on the same night, once I did figure it out though I couldn't not..."

"Beca" Chloe said cutting Beca's ramling short.

"Yeah?" Beca said, her voice uncertain.

"I'm in love with you too." Chloe said softly. She wasn't sure this was a good idea, Beca had just left Jesse tonight, just over an hour ago actually and it really was too soon to be thinking about another relationship, but she didn't care, all she could think about was how Beca's voice has sounded when she had said 'I'm in love with you. I think I always have been, I just never realized it' .

Beca smiled and somehow Chloe knew, it was like she could feel the warmth coming through the phone and she smiled too.

"Chlo?"

"Yeah, Becs?"

"Could you do me a favor?"

"Sure Becs, what is it?"

"Unlock your door, grab a couple of blankets and bottle of wine and go wait for me out on the fire escape?"

Chloe laughed at the nervous excitement in Beca's voice "Beca it's snowing outside."

Beca laughed too "I know. I'm only about twenty minutes away and when I get there I want to sit out on the fire escape with you all wrapped up, together, in a blanket and kiss you while we watch it snow."

Chloe's heart started to beat harder in her chest at the idea, as much as she didn't want to sit out in the cold until Beca got there she couldn't deny how good it sounded.

"Ok. I'll wait for you on the fire escape."

"OK I'll be there in just a bit." Beca said, her smile obvious in her voice.

"OK, Becs."

"Chlo?"

"Yeah Becs?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

The line clicked and went dead. Chloe smiled and held the phone to her chest as she flung herself back onto her bed giggling. She felt like a twelve year old who just found out her crush liked her back, she felt silly and light, like she could float away at any second. Like a snowflake she thought. The thought of snow brought her back to reality and kicked her into action. She dropped her phone on her bed and put on her heaviest hoodie, a pair of sweatpants, gloves and a beanie before grabbing the two heaviest blankets she had plus a bottle of white wine from her fridge and two glasses from the cabinet before dragging everything out onto the fire escape.

Chloe arranged the blankets and set the bottle of wine down next to the glasses, she thought about going to get her champagne bucket and filling it with ice to keep the wine cold and then laughed at herself. It was more than cold enough outside for it to stay cold all on it's own.

Finally having everything set up just so, Chloe sat down and wrapped the blankets around herself watching the quickly falling snow and patiently waiting for Beca. She leaned her head back against the railing of the fire escape and let her thoughts wander to the girl who had always been her home.

* * *

"Chloe!"

Chloe bolted up when she heard someone yelling her name. She looked around and saw Aubrey sticking her head out of the window, she was on her fire escape wrapped up in blankets and covered in snow, it was light outside. Chloe's brain was fuzzy and it took her a moment of thinking to be able to remember how she found herself here, and then it hit her all at once. The phone call, Beca, she had been waiting, Beca loved her, she had said so, she had asked her to wait on the fire escape for her... Where was Beca?

Chloe felt hands on her arms and blinked her eyes trying to focus. Aubrey had come out on the fire escape and was standing a few steps down so she was at eye level with Chloe, her mouth was moving, Chloe could see that, she tried harder to listen to what she was saying.

"Chloe, Chlo-stick, sweetie, can you hear me?"

Chloe nodded.

"Honey I've been calling you for hours. What are you doing out here? You could have frozen to death." Aubrey reached up and touched Chloe's cheek. Chloe nuzzled into the warm touch, she hadn't realized how cold she actually was.

"Come on we need to get you inside."

"No." Chloe finally said, she meant to sound authoritative but her voice came out soft and shaky.

"Chloe sweetie, you're freezing, you may even have a touch of hypothermia, we really need to get you inside and get you warm."

"NO!" Chloe said, stronger this time. "I told Beca I would wait on the fire escape for her. She'll be here Bree, she loves me. She said so. I just have to wait a little longer." Chloe's head was still incredibly fuzzy, but she knew that if she just waited here on this fire escape long enough Beca would come to her, she had said she would.

Aubrey's face fell into a pained expression. "You talked to Beca?"

Chloe nodded again.

"When?"

"Last night, just after one. She called me to tell me she loved me and she was on her way here and I should wait on the fire escape and she'd be here soon and we could watch it snow."

"Chloe." Aubrey said softly, the pain registering more clearly on her face now. "Beca was in an accident last night."

Chloe's eyes widened in shock and she started to try to get up, some of the fuzziness clearing from her head. "We have to get to the hospital Bree. Do you know which one she's at?"

When Aubrey didn't answer right away Chloe looked at her and seeing the look on her face, sat back down hard on the step. Aubrey had tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry Chlo." Aubrey said her voice full of anguish.

Chloe shook her head. No this wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening. Beca loved her, she had told her so, she told her to wait on the fire escape and she would be there soon. Chloe just had to wait longer and she would be there.

Chloe opened the blankets that were wrapped around her and motioned for Aubrey to sit beside her. As soon as she did she wrapped her arm around the sobbing blonde's shoulders and pulled the blankets tight around them both. She held her friend for a moment, being glad for the added warmth, before she spoke.

"I just have to wait a little longer, don't worry Bree, she'll be here."

Aubrey jerked her head up and off of the redhead's shoulder and looked at her like she wasn't entirely sure who she was looking at.

"Chloe" Aubrey started, trying to speak very gently "Beca isn't coming. She was killed in a car accident this morning."

Chloe smiled at Aubrey and reached out to wipe the tears off of her cheeks.

"No, Bree it's ok, I just have to wait a little bit longer and she'll be here."

 **It had been three months since that night, Aubrey had eventually gotten Chloe off the fire escape and to the hospital where she had been treated for severe hypothermia and released a few days later. Chloe still thought about it often, and sometimes even wished she could go back to that state of fuzzy denial, she had been so sure that if she just waited long enough she would see Beca step through the window and out onto the fire escape, and they could start their lives together, the way it should have always been.**

 **Chloe poured one last shot of whiskey and held it up toasting the sky before reaching her hand through the railing of the fire escape and pouring it onto the pavement below, singing softly "I'm on the fire escape. Where you said to wait, and I did, yes I did. I heard the cold wind say "You're a fool to stay, but I did, yes I did."**


End file.
